Friday, February 13, 2009

Happy February 14th



Why is there a certain day set aside to celebrate love that should be celebrated all year long? Surprise, surprise Brian and I do not exchange on Valentine's Day. Tyler wanted to get those chocolate roses for his teachers - the ones that are like 2.99 each. Heck no, I told him - your dad and I do not even get anything for one another.

Per Request-

ACTUAL POSTING FROM CRAIG'S LIST)
To the woman that crapped in my car... (NE Portland) We met on Craig's List so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you. At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive. I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat... What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract. I await your call, Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early...Touché...


Have a great weekend! And Happy Valentine's Day!

Peace.

1 comment:

Stacey said...

Happy Valentine's Day!!!

Thank you for posting the funnies!